I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
