problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
