Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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