P.S. I can't hear my feet
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
