I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
