I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
