awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
