Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize