Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
