just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
