come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there was a trapeze. enough said
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
