It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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