So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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