He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
