Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
