So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
