He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
