I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
