You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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