well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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