the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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