You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
