do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You need a sexual gate keeper
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize