Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
