We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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