you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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