I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
