This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
