what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
