Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
