I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
