pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
