It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
