You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
