things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
