Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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