she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
There are leaves in my underwear?
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