i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
