i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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