his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
