just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
