i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
