do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
