meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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