Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I've blown a few things in my day
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
