I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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