I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
