I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
