fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
