So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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