This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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