Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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