And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
