You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
