I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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