New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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