pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
