You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
And then he peed in my hair
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