I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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