Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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