Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
