i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
