i think my mom watched the whole time
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
