so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
