At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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